My first deer hunt

My first deer hunt, fear, excitement, camaraderie.
The day before, I enjoyed the company of my father, uncles, cousins.

The morning of my first hunt, I felt sick, nauseous.
I still feared shooting that gun... shooting it a couple of times at the rifle range...
It was not enough of a preparation, my nerves were frazzled...

My father woke me well before the sun would even think of rising.. 4 am.
Coffee, eggs, bacon and toast almost came back up...

If a deer would have stopped and did a little jig in front of me
Still it would have escaped me.

Climbing through the pitch black woods an hour before dawn seemed ridiculous
Dad would have it no other way.

I saw only folly in walking through unknown territory with a loaded weapon in such conditions.

I find myself shaking.. is it the cold, the knowledge that bear and wolf frequent this location..
Or are my nerves still so very frazzled?

Finally lunch time comes and I am relieved, not that I am hungry mind you.
My stomach still jumps and flips like a gymnast.

We head back out, and I finally relax..
And sweet slumber fills my head...

Crack! I wake to see a deer all but 5 feet from me...
I can't shoot it! I am frozen like a statue, so tense I can't move!
I can't think either, so a relaxed body would do me no good.

I am relieved to see it go...

My father laments over a wasted day...

I secretly am happy I “wasted” it.